A Reminder From The Brain

Last night's dream was brought to me by my subconscious just one day after I made the declaration that I was not suffering from reoccurring or symbolic dreams as of lately. I dreamed that I worked at some fancy high-rise in Chicago or Portland. It is the kind of building where the steel beams crisscross one another inside of the building from ground to roof and stand exposed along the exterior walls. Full of glass windows and ostentatiously expensive looking, it held several lawyers offices and design firms.

I was working for one of the fancy design corporations (where an 8 hour day is the minimum amount of time that anyone dares to put in and that’s only once or twice a week- most of the time we clock 10+ hours in) and I had just parked my car for the day after spending an obscene amount of money for an unsecured parking spot on the street (even in my dreams I can’t hide from exorbitant parking fees!). I walked into the building in my tan, designer labeled, skirt and blazer while balancing the first of many Starbucks coffees in one hand and my leather briefcase in another, when something seemed off as I made my way to the three story escalator. It was eerily quiet as all I could hear was my heels clicking on the marble floor and bouncing off the marble covered walls. I was used to coming in early on most mornings, usually getting more done before the majority of the office arrived, but the fact that there was no doorman, no floor polisher guy in the lobby, and absolutely no one around anywhere, seemed too odd.

Once I reached my office, I noticed a colleague (Bob Whatshisname) talking to himself and moving around in his office rather strangely. I walked in and was immediately stopped in my tracks. Covering the steel beams and portions of the floor as well as Bob’s sleek steel desk was this awful green putrid slime. It smelled like a rotting animal carcass and whenever Bob walked close to a pool of it, it would jiggle slightly, sometimes a bit of it breaking off and sliding away into its own snot-like small pool. I held my nose and coughed to get his attention. He didn't seem to notice me. I called out his name several times, wanting to tap him on the shoulder, but unwilling to step over any of the slime to get to him. He was rambling, sometimes incoherently, speaking to something or someone else that I could not see.

The strangest thing about this slime was its corrosive properties. I vividly remember a pool of it forming at the bottom of one of the steel beams. Where it had dripped from, there was an erratic ring of various green and brown circles as the steel was flaking off and/or dissolving away. The process was rather quick as I could see giant holes forming in the steel beams. It occurred to me that the whole structure could collapse in a matter of days or hours at that rate.

I remember leaving the office, slightly pissed that I got all dressed up and psyched up for a hectic work day. I remember calling my best friend as I left the building and stepped out into the crowded street with the sun blinding overhead.


I sounded like a sarcastic brat from a New York borough as I yelled into the phone: “You won’t believe this one, Ellen! Work was canceled because the building is haunted! How lame is that?”

And that’s where I woke up.
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5/08/06

Whenever I have dreams of being haunted, it’s because I am avoiding something in my life. Usually these dreams pop up when I’m having an especially hard time with my procrastination and/or depression issues. I thought I was getting a handle on everything but it’s an incredibly slow process. I have good weeks and I have bad weeks. I am trying very hard this week to understand why it is that I delay everything and why I have such an incredible time getting myself motivated. I was instructed by my counselor to make small goals for myself each day and to write down everything I accomplish, whether it seemed like a task I had trouble doing or not. That way, I can visually see all of the things I do get done and I will (hopefully) beat myself up less over the things I don’t get done.