Random Question #92
I'm curious (and mostly in regards to the context of weight but everyone is encouraged to answer) if anyone can tell me how they feel about dating "outside their league". What does it mean to date someone who you think is too good for you? In what ways are they too good or too skinny or too attractive for you? Have you ever managed to find the courage to ask them out anyways? What happened? What did you learn about yourself through the experience? How do you feel about the fact that leagues (at least in the context of attractiveness) exist at all? And what do you recommend to others who worry about dating someone "beyond their league"?
posted by punkindunkin at 2:58 PM
2 Comments:
I was always too chicken in high school to do that, until my senior year, when I sort of dated a really hot girl (only a couple dates, the summer before I left for the Army. We knew it wasn't going to be too serious or last beyond the summer).
I think she never would have noticed me had we not been on the ski team together. I was a much better skier than she was, and an experienced racer by then, and she was the competitive type that wanted to improve. So it just sort of evolved into a brief fling after the season ended.
Not sure what I learned from that other than all I needed was a "way in". And, sometimes, you're more attractive than you think you are.
Don't really like the whole "leagues" thing. It can prevent two really great people from getting together.
Recommendation? Hm. Figure out a way in. Find some common ground.
The only people out of my league are the ones I think are out of my league. Leagues are just a state of mind.
I've been told by a chronically unemployed, alcoholic, drop-out that he might lower his standards to be with me.
I've also been searched for through 3 towns by a guy who spotted me swimming on a beach while on vacation. He looked like he stepped off the cover of GQ.
I met a guy when I was about 350 lbs. I've got an average, everyday looking face. He was handsome and was chased after by lots of women in the group we hung with. One day we were in a discussion with friends and I said, more or less, "Why do we ask how an average guy with a fat chick got stuck with her but we call a fat dude with a hottie lucky? We don't ask how she got stuck with him. Society tells us who it is okay to be with. Society doesn't want us to decide for ourselves." He came over the next day and said he thought about what I said and I was right. He wasn't letting society dictate to him, so how about a date? We were together 11 years.
Especially because you are pretty, I'm sure you've had plenty of guys hit on you. I remember in high school the guys who wanted their interest to be secret. Because I was fat? Yes and no. Really, because the culture told them there was something wrong with them for being attracted to me. And they believed it. I wouldn't be a secret girlfriend, though, so they were stuck with some skinny chick who was their 2nd choice! But, little boys grow up to be larger versions of themselves, still too afraid (or too brainwashed) to find the beauty in all women.
No one is out of my league. They may be smarter or better looking or more altruistic or have more money. So what. Dating is like sales -- you have to get through your share of no-thank-yous to get to a yes.
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