Like It's 72 Degrees In My Head...All...The...Time!

Cisco: Okay, I was driving around last night in my sixty-two thousand dollar car. And I was trying to think of a name for the drug, then it hit me.

Don Roritor: The name?

Cisco: No a bird, it hit my windshield. When that happened, I got depressed.

Natalie: Not you, Cisco!

Cisco: Yeah, even me. But as soon as I got depressed, I got undepressed. 'Cause as I was cleaning the gleaming guts of that bird off my car, I thought of a name for the drug - Gleemonex. The slogan - Gleemonex makes it feel like it seventy-two degrees in your head... all... the... time!

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Yes, I have officially gone down the medicating route. And thanks to Kids in the Hall, I can poke fun at it. I decided I needed as much help as possible to get through the school year without a major backslide or relapse (Relapse? Does that mean you're not depressed anymore?) Well, no, I guess I'm not. I've been feeling better now for almost a month. I feel more calm and resilient than any other time this year. I feel capable of handling my issues. But returning to school next week is a little frightening. I need to do well and I can't afford any more bad semesters. I want to be able to concentrate on the task at hand (get that freakin' degree) and move on to the next phase of my life. I'm desperate enough to try anything I can to feel better and stay that way.

I'm not really a fan of medication but I have seen how it has helped other family members and the rational side of my brain understands the imbalance that's going on. The happy serotonin and attention grabbing norepinephrine chemicals are not getting to their destinations in my sad little brain. They need a little boost to connect over. I get that. I just need to make the other irrational side understand that the pills are not making ME different, they are helping me get back to the original state I should be in. It's tough remembering that when things are going well again and I think I have everything under control so the pills are pitched because they don't seem to be factor in my improvement. I don't want this long term. I am accepting that I may need this for awhile but it's not forever. I won't always need this kind of help. Just right now.

72 degrees... here I come!