Lowered Expectations Lead to Unexpected Elation
I took the plunge and met someone from Match.com for a date. It's certainly um, an interesting experience. So I'm trying to figure this one out. I know, I know... I can't just let it be. It's just that I find it hard to believe that after a week and a half of entering the world of online dating, I have this hot guy emailing me and then asking to meet for a drink. I assumed he'd take one look at me and hightail it out of the cafe. Then I assumed that he felt like having lunch with me because he didn't want to waste his afternoon by coming downtown for no reason. I thought he'd think of some asinine reason to leave (I had my own on standby for sure). But he didn't.
You can probably see where this is going.
So the hour is up and we don't really know what to do with ourselves. Apparently neither one of us had thought this thru. Essentially the one hour drink I had all planned out in my head (full of awkward pauses, sweaty palms and stammering responses about the weather) instead turned into an 8 hour date. I wasn't sure if I should call it a date but with 8 hours logged in, how can I not? We had lunch and then a walk with lots of talking, and then ice cream, then a lot of talking followed up by even more talking, and finally ending with a movie that I really couldn't recap here because it was too hard to pay attention to.
Hello! Hot guy sitting Right.Next.To.Me! And he's reaching for my hand to hold! Who gives a flippty-flip what's on the screen! Show me static for all I care!
The end of the night comes and he asks if he can call me again. "Sure!" I'm enthusiastic after such an unexpected day. But come bedtime I'm thinking to myself, "Isn't that the number one complaint from single women? That men say they'll call and they don't? Haven't I heard this on 'Sex and the City' a thousand times before??" So I'm psyching myself up for the possibility that he doesn't call for several days or if ever again.
My expectations are just way too low.
Low and behold, he calls me Sunday and offers to take me out to get errands (he knows about the car situation and I think he breathed a sigh of relief when I didn't turn my nose up at his early model Subaru wagon. I thought it was cute. And I'm too old to care about the kind of car that someone drives. It doesn't cross my mind as a prerequisite for a potential date). But I had just returned home after the ex was kind enough to take me to the store.
But he called!
And it was the very next day!!!
I was so taken back that I forgot to get really gussied up.
No shit, he called!!!!!!!
My expectations must have hit rock bottom. Is this what my 30’s will be like if I stay single?
We had a nice evening together on Sunday too. But I'm leery because I am the eternal pessimist and this last year has only added fuel to that particular fire. How can the first one out of the gate be this good? So this is what cautiously optimistic feels like- it's a brand new feeling to me. I'm happy that things got off to such a great start but I know that I need to remember the mistakes I've made in the past (the thought that he just wants to get into my pants because I appear pathetic [in my warped mind] did occur to me. But then I had to remind myself that guys are guys and they don’t want to just get into the pants of the desperate ones, they want to get into as many pairs as possible. Being pretty or confident doesn’t necessarily make a difference). Most importantly, if he never calls again or things end icky or just never go anywhere… well, I'm gonna be just fine. I've got a busy life that needs my attention. I can do fine with or without someone right now. I prefer with, but I'm strong enough to handle either.
The other really cool thing is that this guy has a degree in psychology. He's also got my number and he's got it good (as in he’s pegged me pretty damn well for only having known me 36 hours). He told me I was extremely sexy which only makes me want to howl with laughter. But he called me out on it when I asked him what was so gosh darn sexy about me. Physical traits and clothes aside, he mentioned the way that I carry myself and the confidence that shines through.
"You know deep down how sexy you are. You just don't want to admit it."
And he's sooooo right. I know exactly what I am and I don't want to admit it. Because admitting it makes me sound arrogant. But more so, it makes me finally face what everyone is telling me is the truth. Close the case already, why don’cha? Now it's time to move on and be finished with the transforming part. I'm a damn butterfly or phoenix or swan; just need to pick one. It doesn't matter. I am this and it's okay to say so. My clothes say it, my giggle says it, my walk says it, and my personality says it. To deny it otherwise is just plain stupid. It’s time to strip the remaining torn and tattered pieces of the insecurity blanket off and just run free. Run free and enjoy every damn minute because I deserve it.
You can probably see where this is going.
So the hour is up and we don't really know what to do with ourselves. Apparently neither one of us had thought this thru. Essentially the one hour drink I had all planned out in my head (full of awkward pauses, sweaty palms and stammering responses about the weather) instead turned into an 8 hour date. I wasn't sure if I should call it a date but with 8 hours logged in, how can I not? We had lunch and then a walk with lots of talking, and then ice cream, then a lot of talking followed up by even more talking, and finally ending with a movie that I really couldn't recap here because it was too hard to pay attention to.
Hello! Hot guy sitting Right.Next.To.Me! And he's reaching for my hand to hold! Who gives a flippty-flip what's on the screen! Show me static for all I care!
The end of the night comes and he asks if he can call me again. "Sure!" I'm enthusiastic after such an unexpected day. But come bedtime I'm thinking to myself, "Isn't that the number one complaint from single women? That men say they'll call and they don't? Haven't I heard this on 'Sex and the City' a thousand times before??" So I'm psyching myself up for the possibility that he doesn't call for several days or if ever again.
My expectations are just way too low.
Low and behold, he calls me Sunday and offers to take me out to get errands (he knows about the car situation and I think he breathed a sigh of relief when I didn't turn my nose up at his early model Subaru wagon. I thought it was cute. And I'm too old to care about the kind of car that someone drives. It doesn't cross my mind as a prerequisite for a potential date). But I had just returned home after the ex was kind enough to take me to the store.
But he called!
And it was the very next day!!!
I was so taken back that I forgot to get really gussied up.
No shit, he called!!!!!!!
My expectations must have hit rock bottom. Is this what my 30’s will be like if I stay single?
We had a nice evening together on Sunday too. But I'm leery because I am the eternal pessimist and this last year has only added fuel to that particular fire. How can the first one out of the gate be this good? So this is what cautiously optimistic feels like- it's a brand new feeling to me. I'm happy that things got off to such a great start but I know that I need to remember the mistakes I've made in the past (the thought that he just wants to get into my pants because I appear pathetic [in my warped mind] did occur to me. But then I had to remind myself that guys are guys and they don’t want to just get into the pants of the desperate ones, they want to get into as many pairs as possible. Being pretty or confident doesn’t necessarily make a difference). Most importantly, if he never calls again or things end icky or just never go anywhere… well, I'm gonna be just fine. I've got a busy life that needs my attention. I can do fine with or without someone right now. I prefer with, but I'm strong enough to handle either.
The other really cool thing is that this guy has a degree in psychology. He's also got my number and he's got it good (as in he’s pegged me pretty damn well for only having known me 36 hours). He told me I was extremely sexy which only makes me want to howl with laughter. But he called me out on it when I asked him what was so gosh darn sexy about me. Physical traits and clothes aside, he mentioned the way that I carry myself and the confidence that shines through.
"You know deep down how sexy you are. You just don't want to admit it."
And he's sooooo right. I know exactly what I am and I don't want to admit it. Because admitting it makes me sound arrogant. But more so, it makes me finally face what everyone is telling me is the truth. Close the case already, why don’cha? Now it's time to move on and be finished with the transforming part. I'm a damn butterfly or phoenix or swan; just need to pick one. It doesn't matter. I am this and it's okay to say so. My clothes say it, my giggle says it, my walk says it, and my personality says it. To deny it otherwise is just plain stupid. It’s time to strip the remaining torn and tattered pieces of the insecurity blanket off and just run free. Run free and enjoy every damn minute because I deserve it.
Labels: Beauty, online dating
posted by punkindunkin at 7:37 PM
1 Comments:
You should be amazingly lucky to have found a date with in a week of joining match.com. I've been on plentyoffish, Free dating U.S.A and okcupid for at least six months and I've not met "Mr.Right" yet. I've a lot of contacts from all the three dating sites but not the kind I'd love to meet. I think I should give paid dating sites a try.
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