Second Glance? No, It Was Actually Three...
Okay so here's the deal, I broke up with M. last night and I'm too emotionally exhausted to rehash it here. I'm trying my darndest to get through the rest of my day and do stunningly spectacular work on my new assignments for my architecture classes. Everything else is going on the back burner till I'm done.
But I did want to share this little nugget of my day because (other than the weepy phone call to my best friend this morning where he held my hand through the phone) this made me feel a whole lot better about myself:
After two excruciatingly long calls dealing with various work related issues, I had to take a breather and go release some anger and frustration before I blew up at the next customer to have the unfortunate luck to get me on the phone. I walked around the building and up the back stairs. As I walked down the long hallway, two men came out of one of the other offices ahead of me. They appeared to be delivery men as they were both dressed in the same casual uniform. One of the men looked my way as they moved in front of me. I didn't think anything of it. As they got to the end of the hallway (about 10 steps ahead of me) and needed to turn right into the elevator lobby, he turned and looked again at me with a much longer glance, I might add. It made me smile like a Cheshire cat as soon as he was out of sight. And I thought that was the end, but no. In fact as I rounded the same turn into the elevator lobby, he and his partner were waiting for the elevator and he looked at me yet again as he was stepping inside. This was a full on stare. Like the bug-eyed stare you see in cartoons. Yeah, that kinda stare! I held his gaze confidently, smiled slightly and looked down. I had to pass by the elevator to get to my office and I didn’t want him to see my face, (as the bloodshot eyes and potentially snot-crusted nose from crying are just not all that sexy), but he was actually holding the elevator door open for me. OMG. That just totally blew my mind in addition to making me feel like a freaking beauty queen.
So I didn't really question as to whether I'd be okay after this breakup or whether I would fall apart all over again. Instinctively I know I'll be just fine because I am more resilient (that which does not kill us...) than ever before. Things don’t bounce off of me, but that’s okay. I’m learning better ways to deal with my setbacks and obstacles. But today’s interaction is just one more sign that I will be just fine. Mmm-hmm. Apparently when I’m ready to date again, I will have lots and lots of options.
But I did want to share this little nugget of my day because (other than the weepy phone call to my best friend this morning where he held my hand through the phone) this made me feel a whole lot better about myself:
After two excruciatingly long calls dealing with various work related issues, I had to take a breather and go release some anger and frustration before I blew up at the next customer to have the unfortunate luck to get me on the phone. I walked around the building and up the back stairs. As I walked down the long hallway, two men came out of one of the other offices ahead of me. They appeared to be delivery men as they were both dressed in the same casual uniform. One of the men looked my way as they moved in front of me. I didn't think anything of it. As they got to the end of the hallway (about 10 steps ahead of me) and needed to turn right into the elevator lobby, he turned and looked again at me with a much longer glance, I might add. It made me smile like a Cheshire cat as soon as he was out of sight. And I thought that was the end, but no. In fact as I rounded the same turn into the elevator lobby, he and his partner were waiting for the elevator and he looked at me yet again as he was stepping inside. This was a full on stare. Like the bug-eyed stare you see in cartoons. Yeah, that kinda stare! I held his gaze confidently, smiled slightly and looked down. I had to pass by the elevator to get to my office and I didn’t want him to see my face, (as the bloodshot eyes and potentially snot-crusted nose from crying are just not all that sexy), but he was actually holding the elevator door open for me. OMG. That just totally blew my mind in addition to making me feel like a freaking beauty queen.
So I didn't really question as to whether I'd be okay after this breakup or whether I would fall apart all over again. Instinctively I know I'll be just fine because I am more resilient (that which does not kill us...) than ever before. Things don’t bounce off of me, but that’s okay. I’m learning better ways to deal with my setbacks and obstacles. But today’s interaction is just one more sign that I will be just fine. Mmm-hmm. Apparently when I’m ready to date again, I will have lots and lots of options.
posted by punkindunkin at 3:00 PM
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