Sometimes You're the Bug, Sometimes You're the Windshield...

Today, the windshield kicked my sorry invertebrated ass. If I go home and dream of towering windshield wipers and bloody spike covered grills, I'm going to be very upset. Monday's usually suck but with the return of school today, it was a double whammy and I feel it in every single stinkin' muscle. I think my hair hurts! LOL! Is that even possible?

It was a rough first day back at school and I mistakenly thought I was all prepared for this jarring event! Since it happens three times a year, you'd think that one would get used to it by now, but no, it seems as if every year just gets more and more hectic. I got plenty of sleep last night, a good breakfast, my backpack filled with the essentials- lip gloss, hairspray, and a compact mirror. :) No, it was actually filled with the usual back to school items. I also had my schedule, my parking permit application, and my financial aid documents. I was all set. I was ready for a brand new term of all architecture classes (high five, cause I love me some architecture all the time).

I only had one class today (which looks to be superb). But it was the administrative issues that got me frazzled. There was a slight snafu with my financial aid and I spent 45 minutes sorting it out at the office (of which, 40 minutes and 36 seconds were spent waiting in line, of course). Then, because my aid isn't dispersed for two weeks, I asked for a short term loan. But first I had to make sure I was eligible. After speaking to counselor #2, I was then sent to another department to get the loan. But counselor #3 doesn't actually disperse the cash, so it was on to counselor #4 before the sweaty green stuff was placed in my outstretched and begging hands. Then I made the mistake of deciding to get books with that money. Is there a sexy plus size outfit and smashing shoes somewhere crying alone tonight because I didn't get them instead, I wonder?

The bookstore had the usual first day back look about it- hot and sweaty bodies bumping into each other, freshman dragging their 3 feet high book piles along the floor to the cashiers, everyone grumbling about the inflated prices of the texts and trying to discern the difference between last year's edition and this year's without ripping off the sacred (you think I’m joking but I’m really not) plastic wrap, coupons being handed out for 20% off in the bookstore with the adorable 8 pt. text warning of: Sorry students, offer not valid on textbooks! Seriously, who can I give the middle finger to now?

But the assault on the senses was not over yet. Not even close folks. Stepped outside in the glaring sunlight (fall was here last week and now this week it's bikini weather, what the hell??) and I had to move quickly if I wanted to get past the 3, yes 3, newspaper vendors trying to get me to subscribe to their paper. I've never had the Register-Guard guy single me out, but I swear if he ever does, I will be ready with a couple of answers to why I don't read that republican slanted piece of trash. When you don't acknowledge gay and lesbian wedding or birth announcements, you are not a paper that I would even use to line the kitty litter box with!! Then there are the merry band of musicians playing for cash and the homeless wandering in and out of the crowds asking for spare change. In addition, there are the canvassers (Are you registered to vote? Would you like to make a difference in student politics? Do you need some exciting and flashy cigarette coupons?)

By the time I made it to my car, which was on the other side of campus incidentally, I had blisters on both feet from the brand new shoes that looked positively adorable on the department store shelf, a splitting headache and some sort of acid reflux thing going on. I was late to work so I pampered myself (cause really, what’s five more minutes if you’re that late?) and bought a small milkshake from Dairy Queen for a late addition to my lunch (milk is supposed to help soothe a tummy, right?). I strolled into work, trying to stay alert for the remaining 5 1/2 hours of my shift. I started the day at freaking 7am! My eyes are bloodshot. My new syllabi are screaming for review, I need to practice violin tonight, and alls I want now is a hot bath, a relaxing massage, and a week off.


Are finals here, yet?