Cast of Characters: Filmmaker

The first guy I ever lived with. I made a ton of mistakes with this guy, the first being that I left Toby for him. I still don’t fully forgive myself for that. Filmmaker doesn’t speak to me anymore, not since we gave it a second try and I quickly realized that we were in different places, even more so then the first time we dated. Unfortunately I looked at his lifestyle choices and made some serious value judgments on them that were not completely fair. It was a gut reaction and I think a valid one in the sense that a part of me knew not to start up something with him again, but I didn’t listen and I ruined a potential friendship.

Cast of Characters: RobotBoy

Currently known as the latest guy to break my heart. They always say that you know when you meet him. And I knew. To this day, I know that he is a “one”, of course not the “one” for me, but still. He had no feelings for me, and to make matters worse, he said I wasn’t good enough for him. I had accepted him 100%, flaws and all. How exactly is someone like that not good enough for another person? It floors me each and every time I think about it. I would cry my eyes out if I wasn’t laughing so hard at the irony of it all. I call him Robotboy because he seemed to keep all of his feelings closed up inside real tight to the point that I couldn’t tell what he was feeling for the remaining weeks that we were dating when he grew distant. Today we’re friends but lately I can’t help but notice the nagging voice telling me to walk away if I’m going to hang on to my sanity.

Definition: Galaxy Quest Guys

The inner censors and critics that we all have. Taken from a concept created by Julia Cameron who wrote the Artist's Way book series. My inner censors remind me of the little green creatures found on the rock planet in the movie Galaxy Quest. They look all sweet and innocent at first but usually they bare their teeth and gnaw on me whenever I'm attempting to break out of my shell or when I'm trying to forget my past.

They are sometimes confused with Jiminy Cricket, Pinocchio's conscience. While Jiminy tends to weigh right against wrong, where right usually wins out... the galaxy quest guys use fuzzy logic to intimidate me into holding myself back and not doing what's in my best interest- especially when it comes to facing my fears.