Random Monday
1. Saturday was the first day I finally felt the Christmas spirit move me. I actually got excited about coming home and being near the fam. I caulk it up to three things: Christmas peppermint nuggets in bulk at Winco, my tickets are finally bought and plans are getting finalized, and the new man with whom I spent the weekend being all giddy and stuff. He make Punkin happy. So very, very happy. We aren’t going to be around each other on the actual holiday but we won’t be too far- me in Wisconsin and him in Ohio. And it looks like we will spend Thanksgiving and New Years together. Did I mention he makes me happy? Like a comfortable- I don’t have to do nuttin’ around him ‘cept lie on the couch and hold his hand- happy?? Mmm-hmm.
2. I had the best weekend I’ve had in a long time. And a third of the time I was puking my brains out. Go figure. We spent our weekend together having fun, doing all sorts of talking and laughing, and beaucoup snuggling. Sunday we went to this adorable little 50’s style diner in Springfield full of old coke memorabilia. I had French toast and sausage. He had an omelet and home-style potatoes with the best gravy I’ve ever tasted. We went to do some errands and while out, I thought I was suffering from some bad heartburn but just as I was paying for some tums, I realized I was going to toss my cookies at the cashier if I didn’t go to the restroom. I felt a little better after sweating it out with my head on the toilet in a Shopko. We then went across the street to get gas at Costco where I had to slip out of the truck and sit on the curb with my head in my hands. I was trying so hard not to puke in front of everyone or inside J’s truck. I succeeded until we were within a mile of his duplex. He pulled over and I promptly puked up all of my orange juice (aren’t you glad you read this?!). He took me to his house and stayed with me all afternoon. I threw up like 5 more times all though after the first two, there really wasn’t anything else in my tummy to get rid of. You know how in the beginning of a relationship you try and hide the fact that you fart and burp and go #2? Yeah well, after having puked up in front of him for 6 hours, the fantasy was forever shattered that I was a lady without icky biological functions. I told him that and he just laughed. I was terribly embarrassed but quite grateful to him for taking care of me.
3. With all the puking and dry heaving going on, I didn’t get a chance to stuff my face on Sunday like I normally would when there isn’t much to do to keep me busy and away from the fridge. As a result, I jumped on the scale this morning and saw a very solid 195. This is where I wanted to be at Christmas time. But now I’m thinking 2 or 3 more pounds would be good and that way I’ve got a nice cushion for holiday food. If I can stay under 200 through the New Year, I’ll consider it a success. I shimmied into my jeans and turtleneck this morning (having not had the ability to raise my head from the couch and do any laundry on Sunday to wear my normal business casual clothes today) and while I was in the car, I realized that my jeans were bunching up in my lower belly area as I sat. I bought these jeans when I weighed between 215 and 220. Twenty to twenty-five pounds later, they are the verge of getting larger on me. They are form fitting and I don’t really want to give them up any time soon. Sometimes I have to mourn for the clothes I love even as I drop the weight I despise.
4. Five days until my walking tour of Portland for class. Eighteen days to Thanksgiving. Twenty six days until move out day. Four weeks until finals. Thirty two days till Christmas vacation. And forty two days until my flight home. Time is moving very fast at the end of this year.
5. I’ve been trying hard not to talk about the new man too much. We’ve been dating a week (but it don't feel like no week, that's for sure). If I try and explain to everyone that this one is different, I don’t think they’ll believe me, ‘specially with what happened this summer (we don’t really need to revisit it, do we?). I woke up the other morning with this scene from Sleepless in Seattle in my head.
(Annie is in the attic with her mother, trying on her mother’s wedding dress)
BARBARA
How did it happen?
Barbara starts to unbutton the tiny buttons on the back of the dress and remove it from the dummy.
ANNIE
It's silly, really. I mean, I'd seen him at the office, obviously I'd seen him, he's the associate publisher, and then one day we both ordered sandwiches from the same place, and he got my lettuce and tomato sandwich on whole wheat, which of course he was allergic to, and I got his lettuce and tomato on white.
BARBARA
(utterly without irony)
How amazing.
ANNIE
It is, isn't it? You make millions of decisions that mean nothing and then one day you decide to order takeout and it changes your life.
BARBARA
Destiny takes a hand.
ANNIE
Oh, please. Destiny's just something we've invented because we can't stand the fact that everything that happens is accidental.
BARBARA
Then how do you explain that you both ordered exactly the same sandwich except for the bread? How many people in this world like lettuce and tomato without something else like tuna?
ANNIE
It wasn't a sign. It was a coincidence.
Barbara shrugs, slips the dress off the dummy and Annie steps into it.
Barbra starts to button the dress on Annie.
BARBARA
I was in Atlantic City with my family. Cliff was a waiter. He talked me into sneaking out for a midnight walk on the Steel Pier. I've probably told you this a million times, but I don't care. And then he held my hand. I was scared. All sorts of thing were going through my head. But after a while I forgot about them. At one point I looked down, at our hands, and I couldn't tell which fingers were mine and which were his. And I knew.
ANNIE
(hearing it for the first time)
What?
BARBARA
You know.
ANNIE
(she doesn't know, but she doesn't want her mother to know she doesn't know)
What?
BARBARA
Magic. It was magic.
ANNIE
(repeating)
Magic.
BARBARA
I knew we would be together forever, and that everything would be wonderful, just the way you feel about Walter.
It’s like magic. We have slipped into this easy way of relating to one another that is so rare. There is nothing fake about either one of us. The nervousness, if there was really any at all, dissipated pretty early on. We talk honestly, we laugh heartedly and we both can tell how very happy we make one another. Without J. I’d be just fine. I’m feeling really good right now. Everything is stable and the things that I haven’t fixed aren’t looking like daunting tasks anymore. But with J, I feel even better. He’s the gravy on the potatoes, the cherry on top the ice cream, the extra bag of cookies falling out behind the first bag you paid for at the vending machine. He is someone that I am so grateful for and in just a short amount of time I’ve come to appreciate him completely. (As evidence by the puking session) The rose colored glasses have come off pretty damn quickly (if they were ever there at all) and I just accept him completely. I know what everyone is thinking and I certainly don’t blame them. Rebound would be the first word that comes to mind. But now you must think back to the fact that the last guy was the rebound guy. This one is not. I thought about this guy quite a bit since we sat 10 feet from one another for six months now. We had multiple conversations about school and that’s when I found out he was not only going into the same degree as I am, but he wants to do historical preservation and renovation too. He’s an HGTV junkie. He wants to have a business where he renovates old homes or other structures and sell them. That has been my dream for some time. Even if nothing comes of this (relationship wise) I know instinctively that we will be in each other’s lives from now on. There is no way we cannot be. We have too much in common and we’re too honest around each other. We make one another laugh over and over and we have way too many life experiences in common. Many things seem to parallel one another- to the point that we sing the twilight zone theme song now and then. If I tell you this one is different, I don’t expect you to believe me. Quite frankly, I don’t even care. I’m happy. The happiest I’ve been all year. And that’s what matters the most.
2. I had the best weekend I’ve had in a long time. And a third of the time I was puking my brains out. Go figure. We spent our weekend together having fun, doing all sorts of talking and laughing, and beaucoup snuggling. Sunday we went to this adorable little 50’s style diner in Springfield full of old coke memorabilia. I had French toast and sausage. He had an omelet and home-style potatoes with the best gravy I’ve ever tasted. We went to do some errands and while out, I thought I was suffering from some bad heartburn but just as I was paying for some tums, I realized I was going to toss my cookies at the cashier if I didn’t go to the restroom. I felt a little better after sweating it out with my head on the toilet in a Shopko. We then went across the street to get gas at Costco where I had to slip out of the truck and sit on the curb with my head in my hands. I was trying so hard not to puke in front of everyone or inside J’s truck. I succeeded until we were within a mile of his duplex. He pulled over and I promptly puked up all of my orange juice (aren’t you glad you read this?!). He took me to his house and stayed with me all afternoon. I threw up like 5 more times all though after the first two, there really wasn’t anything else in my tummy to get rid of. You know how in the beginning of a relationship you try and hide the fact that you fart and burp and go #2? Yeah well, after having puked up in front of him for 6 hours, the fantasy was forever shattered that I was a lady without icky biological functions. I told him that and he just laughed. I was terribly embarrassed but quite grateful to him for taking care of me.
3. With all the puking and dry heaving going on, I didn’t get a chance to stuff my face on Sunday like I normally would when there isn’t much to do to keep me busy and away from the fridge. As a result, I jumped on the scale this morning and saw a very solid 195. This is where I wanted to be at Christmas time. But now I’m thinking 2 or 3 more pounds would be good and that way I’ve got a nice cushion for holiday food. If I can stay under 200 through the New Year, I’ll consider it a success. I shimmied into my jeans and turtleneck this morning (having not had the ability to raise my head from the couch and do any laundry on Sunday to wear my normal business casual clothes today) and while I was in the car, I realized that my jeans were bunching up in my lower belly area as I sat. I bought these jeans when I weighed between 215 and 220. Twenty to twenty-five pounds later, they are the verge of getting larger on me. They are form fitting and I don’t really want to give them up any time soon. Sometimes I have to mourn for the clothes I love even as I drop the weight I despise.
4. Five days until my walking tour of Portland for class. Eighteen days to Thanksgiving. Twenty six days until move out day. Four weeks until finals. Thirty two days till Christmas vacation. And forty two days until my flight home. Time is moving very fast at the end of this year.
5. I’ve been trying hard not to talk about the new man too much. We’ve been dating a week (but it don't feel like no week, that's for sure). If I try and explain to everyone that this one is different, I don’t think they’ll believe me, ‘specially with what happened this summer (we don’t really need to revisit it, do we?). I woke up the other morning with this scene from Sleepless in Seattle in my head.
(Annie is in the attic with her mother, trying on her mother’s wedding dress)
BARBARA
How did it happen?
Barbara starts to unbutton the tiny buttons on the back of the dress and remove it from the dummy.
ANNIE
It's silly, really. I mean, I'd seen him at the office, obviously I'd seen him, he's the associate publisher, and then one day we both ordered sandwiches from the same place, and he got my lettuce and tomato sandwich on whole wheat, which of course he was allergic to, and I got his lettuce and tomato on white.
BARBARA
(utterly without irony)
How amazing.
ANNIE
It is, isn't it? You make millions of decisions that mean nothing and then one day you decide to order takeout and it changes your life.
BARBARA
Destiny takes a hand.
ANNIE
Oh, please. Destiny's just something we've invented because we can't stand the fact that everything that happens is accidental.
BARBARA
Then how do you explain that you both ordered exactly the same sandwich except for the bread? How many people in this world like lettuce and tomato without something else like tuna?
ANNIE
It wasn't a sign. It was a coincidence.
Barbara shrugs, slips the dress off the dummy and Annie steps into it.
Barbra starts to button the dress on Annie.
BARBARA
I was in Atlantic City with my family. Cliff was a waiter. He talked me into sneaking out for a midnight walk on the Steel Pier. I've probably told you this a million times, but I don't care. And then he held my hand. I was scared. All sorts of thing were going through my head. But after a while I forgot about them. At one point I looked down, at our hands, and I couldn't tell which fingers were mine and which were his. And I knew.
ANNIE
(hearing it for the first time)
What?
BARBARA
You know.
ANNIE
(she doesn't know, but she doesn't want her mother to know she doesn't know)
What?
BARBARA
Magic. It was magic.
ANNIE
(repeating)
Magic.
BARBARA
I knew we would be together forever, and that everything would be wonderful, just the way you feel about Walter.
It’s like magic. We have slipped into this easy way of relating to one another that is so rare. There is nothing fake about either one of us. The nervousness, if there was really any at all, dissipated pretty early on. We talk honestly, we laugh heartedly and we both can tell how very happy we make one another. Without J. I’d be just fine. I’m feeling really good right now. Everything is stable and the things that I haven’t fixed aren’t looking like daunting tasks anymore. But with J, I feel even better. He’s the gravy on the potatoes, the cherry on top the ice cream, the extra bag of cookies falling out behind the first bag you paid for at the vending machine. He is someone that I am so grateful for and in just a short amount of time I’ve come to appreciate him completely. (As evidence by the puking session) The rose colored glasses have come off pretty damn quickly (if they were ever there at all) and I just accept him completely. I know what everyone is thinking and I certainly don’t blame them. Rebound would be the first word that comes to mind. But now you must think back to the fact that the last guy was the rebound guy. This one is not. I thought about this guy quite a bit since we sat 10 feet from one another for six months now. We had multiple conversations about school and that’s when I found out he was not only going into the same degree as I am, but he wants to do historical preservation and renovation too. He’s an HGTV junkie. He wants to have a business where he renovates old homes or other structures and sell them. That has been my dream for some time. Even if nothing comes of this (relationship wise) I know instinctively that we will be in each other’s lives from now on. There is no way we cannot be. We have too much in common and we’re too honest around each other. We make one another laugh over and over and we have way too many life experiences in common. Many things seem to parallel one another- to the point that we sing the twilight zone theme song now and then. If I tell you this one is different, I don’t expect you to believe me. Quite frankly, I don’t even care. I’m happy. The happiest I’ve been all year. And that’s what matters the most.
posted by punkindunkin at 9:46 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home